“A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another, even as I have loved you, that you also love one another. By this all men will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another.”
Yesterday I came across a resource that I’ve used many times in the past, The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman. Have you ever read this book? The first time I read this book was about seventeen years ago when my wife and I were first married. It’s a great book… a helpful book… the kind of book that can change your marriage in one week. The concept is simple:
1. Every one of us will feel and communicate love differently.
Specifically, the Five “Love Languages” are:
Quality Time : This language is all about giving the other person your undivided attention.
Physical Touch : To this person, nothing speaks more deeply than appropriate touch.
Gifts : For some people, what makes them feel most loved is to receive a gift.
Acts of Service : For these people, actions speak louder than words.
Words of Affirmation : This language uses words to affirm other people.
2. If you are not speaking your spouses Love Language you’re not effectively telling him/her that you love them
3. If you don’t effectively tell your spouse you love them… they won’t feel loved
4. Any marriage that is void of love is dying
Here’s the thing. Years ago my wife and I took the Love Languages quiz and dissevered our top Love Language. Yesterday we re-took the test and discovered that our Love Language has changed slightly. You see, your Love Language is somewhat dynamic. After seventeen years of marriage and six kids our needs have changed slightly… or a lot.
How about you? What’s your Love Language? Do you know it? More importantly, what’s your spouses Love Language.
Bonus: We had our kids take the test too and we were a little surprised with a couple of their results. Kinda important to tell your kids you love them. More importantly… you want them to feel your love.