Yesterday, I heard a guy talking about his desire to find balance in his life. He said something that I’ll always remember. It went something like this:
The thing about balance is that’s all about tension. You see, when you’re walking a balance beam you feel the “pull” to the right side and so you quickly lean to the left. You can feel it in all the muscles in your leg. All the smaller muscles down your calf tighten. It feels like all the little ligaments stretch until as you all know you’re forced to lean back to the right in order not to fall.
As soon as you lean to the left you can feel another leg tightening, stretching, and eventually, your forced to compensate again.
Back and forth, right then left, your legs tighten and muscles stretch.
Balance is all about becoming comfortable with the tension between the two sides “pulling”.
We struggle with balancing Work and Family, Church Activities and School Sports, School Work and allowing our Kids to be Kids. – Ok, so raise your hand if you’ve complained about not having “Balance” in your life.
3 Questions to Ask Yourself When Trying to Find Balance
1. Is the tension necessary?
Before you spend valuable time struggling to find balance you need to ask the question of whether or night this is even worth trying to balance. For example: If you’re trying to balance the expectations of your spouse and kids and the expectations of your friends… your family win EVERY time. Many times we allow peer-pressure to knock us off balance. Remember what we say to peer-pressure, “Just say No!”
2. What does your family values have to say about the tension?
This is one reason Aime and I wrote The Family Road Map. When you have a clear understanding of your family’s purpose and values, it’s easy to say, “yes” to the right things and “no” to the wrong. Example: a few years ago we were struggling with balancing “Work” and “Family”. We went back to our family values and it was an easy decision – FAMILY! So we moved and took a position at a church that reinforced our family values.
3. Is this tension a reflection of a much bigger issue?
Finally, you need to be sure that this tension isn’t just the tip of the iceberg. If you’re struggling with balancing Work and Family, Work and Church, Work and 1 on 1 time with your spouse…guess what? You’ve got a bigger issue with your work.
So I have by no means mastered this balancing act. There are many day’s I feel like I’m balancing everything and other days when I wonder if it’s all going to tumble.
What I do know is this:
I want to be balancing the right things.
I want to be sure I’m led by my convictions and values and not peer-pressure
I want to be sure that my struggles aren’t reflective a much greater issue.
If you’re interested in discovering the Purpose and Values for your family you can checkout The Family Road Map (HERE)
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